Post by Shamrockville on Oct 16, 2023 22:08:51 GMT -7
Game 1:
Oxford and Shamrockville meet for their annual donnybrook in Shamrockville on Monday afternoon.
Game 1 in Shamrockville starts right off the puck drop, as new Patriot McDavid skates in and pots his first in the Green, White & Gold at :20 seconds into the first period. Burns and Nichushkin drawing assists on the play.
Play settles quickly after this one offensive nugget and the teams trade tentative chances until the 8:00 mark when Hathaway takes an ill advised roughing call against former Pat’s Barret Hayton, and goes off for 2 minutes.
The ensuing power play is stymied however, and the teams skate to a relatively inauspicious end of the 1st period.
The Patriots come out in the 2nd period once again quickly and Hathaway tries to get back in the coaches good books by taking a feed from Bjugstad and Hakanpaa to post the home team to a 2-0 lead at the 1:36 mark. The festivities turn into exasperation though, as Hakanpaa get 2:00 minutes just after the ensuing face off at the 2:00 mark, to send the visitors back onto the power play.
The home team doesn’t seem to mind the special teams work as they quickly take over control, even short handed. Bergeron and Sturm firing quality chances, but United goalie Slam Montembomb shuts the door to keep his team in it.
Hathaway and another former Pat, Kotkaniemi get 2:00 each for some pushing and shoving after the whistle and both players go off at 11:36. The Patriots are fully in control of this period as they bombard Oxford, with only the Kevlar flak jacket of Montembomb saving them from a disaster.
Bjugstad takes another wasteful penalty for the Patriots at 15:12, but once again the Oxford PP can’t get any traction.
The teams skate off after 2 periods with the home team up 2-0, luckily for the visiting Oxford team. The Pat’s fire 7 quality shots in this period alone and only have the one goal to show for it. Que the standard Oxford goal tending clinic…..League officials REALLY have to start examining Oxford’s goal tending equipment, multiple seasons in a row of the same bull$#!& isn’t just “lucky dice”. ;-) The "Chang Shave" can't lead to this sort of collusion.
The 3rd period starts with the Pats again being sent to the PK with Crouse getting 2:00 minutes for a pretty questionable hooking call at 3:36, but again, they escape with no damage.
The ice is tilted towards the home team again in this period, but at 6:48 El’ Nino-Neidereiter finds himself alone in the Pats zone after a disastrous line change and quickly snipes a goal past a surprised Hellebuyck to bring the visitors within one.
Incensed at the missed off side call, Hathaway pummels a mistargeted Middleton, and both players get sent off for 5:00 at 7:12.
At 12:12 big United defenseman Mattias Samuelsson get’s a little too ambitious on the forecheck and takes 2:00 for roughing. The United PK holds, but gives up a quality chance just as the penalty expires and Burns makes no mistake to put the Pat’s up 3-1.
Robertson pots a gimme goal in garbage time, hoping to not be sent down to the AHL for his shit performance once again, at 15:12 to finish the score sheet off.
Patriots win 4-1 at home.
Patriots 39 Shots, 16 Quality for 4 Goals.
United 32 shots, 4 Quality for 1 Goal.
Game 2
Game 2 starts off eerily similar for the Pat’s. Connor McDavid takes the initial face off, skates in and rips a shot top shelf at :24…..except Montembomb happens to have his helmet in the way this time keep the score at 0-0. Trenin then fires a point blank shot, destined for the far corner at 1:12……but Montembomb gets the paddle down to again keep the Pats off the score sheet.
United respond when Kyle Connor “Sprongs” into action to put them ahead 1-0 at 1:24. Que the inquisition into Montembombs water bottle. The wheels fall off after that for the Pats, United coast to a beating of epic proportions, end of story…......
Ok not really, but Tkachuk takes 2:00 at 3:36, dragging Anderson with him, putting the teams at 4 v 4 where the United team clearly thrive, firing shot after R shot, after Auto shot, after hard shot….
Marino and Bergeron go off for 2:00 each at 8:48 before Hathaway again takes a completely undisciplined 2:00 at 9:12. Anderson makes him pay on the PP to stake the United fans to 2-0 lead at the half way mark.
Zibanajad, moments later, makes it 3-0 on a supreme individual effort, and the route is on. At this point I’ve gone to buy a Dragon magazine and am just reading while Steve rolls some dice and mutters under his breath. I’m done dealing with 50 R’s, all hard and a 99.5 % save Montembomb.
Oh I suppose Sanheim takes 2:00 at 17:12, but to add insult to injury, the United team play even better short handed than they do at 5V5, no surprise.
1st period ends 3-0 for the United home side. 20 United shots, 7 in range for 3 goals as opposed to 16 shots 4 in range and zero goals for the Pat’s. The fix is in !.
2nd period, former Pat’s Hayton puts home a rebound in the slot, United up 4-0…..at least I’m winning my Magic game while this pig beating goes on…..
The disappointment that is Garnet Hathaway, again goes to the box for 2:00 at 12:00 to stymie any sort of Patriots team functionality, oddly Oxford doesn’t capitalize this time.
At 17:12, again, instead of trying to…I dunno….shoot the puck, Tkachuk decides that it’d be better to sit for 5 minutes after pummeling Jordan Martinook. Great trade off there Matty, you dipshit.
At 19:36, Debrusk goads Tavares into matching 2:00 minute penalties to further demoralize the Patriot team.
Mercifully the period ends 4-0 for the United fans.
At this point, Coach O’Sheigh is already driving back to Nanton, leaving some random 5 year old to coach the team, rather than watch his dad play in the Magic games going on.
The 3rd period again sees Hathaway look for a fight at 2:48. What he finds, is a rather uncomfortable 4:00 in the box by himself and being shot in the skull by the Brooks Sniper, never to see the ice again this year. Of course Zibanajad scores at 3:36 on the PP with his 22nd R and hard shot of the game.
McDavid gets a nice SH marker to pad some stats at 5:12, nothing to add here.
Jake Debrusk makes it 6-1 at 10:48 from newly acquired Letang, who spurned an offer to join the Pats earlier that day.
At 12:12 Tkachuk…you know, takes another penalty, dragging Sanheim to the box for 2:00 each, instead of trying to help any sort of offense.
Kyle Connor makes it 7-1 with an Empty Net goal at 12:48. Ekholm and Hayton take matching roughing calls at 14:24 and Debrusk adds another EN at some point to make the final score 8-1.
Patriots 41 shots 10 quality for 1 goal
Oxford 40 shots 13 (15) quality for 8 goals (2 EN)
---
Thus ends the quest for a 3-peat, and most likely the end of the Jason Robertson experiment. He’s warm dog shit, can’t hit the broad side of a barn, a range that may as well be a 1-4 for all the times he’ll hit his actual 2-10. Last year it was all about the 33 PF2’s on the 5-7, this year is all about the 2-9 Icing and the 1-6 #7. Absolute trash. Quickly followed by the largely uninspiring return of Tkachuk who seems to only have a 4-6 and 3-8 on his card. He must have had 300 PiM’s last year. Oh wait no, those were shots…wonder where those are?
If you’re looking for upgrades, I’m only an E-mail away.
Oxford and Shamrockville meet for their annual donnybrook in Shamrockville on Monday afternoon.
Game 1 in Shamrockville starts right off the puck drop, as new Patriot McDavid skates in and pots his first in the Green, White & Gold at :20 seconds into the first period. Burns and Nichushkin drawing assists on the play.
Play settles quickly after this one offensive nugget and the teams trade tentative chances until the 8:00 mark when Hathaway takes an ill advised roughing call against former Pat’s Barret Hayton, and goes off for 2 minutes.
The ensuing power play is stymied however, and the teams skate to a relatively inauspicious end of the 1st period.
The Patriots come out in the 2nd period once again quickly and Hathaway tries to get back in the coaches good books by taking a feed from Bjugstad and Hakanpaa to post the home team to a 2-0 lead at the 1:36 mark. The festivities turn into exasperation though, as Hakanpaa get 2:00 minutes just after the ensuing face off at the 2:00 mark, to send the visitors back onto the power play.
The home team doesn’t seem to mind the special teams work as they quickly take over control, even short handed. Bergeron and Sturm firing quality chances, but United goalie Slam Montembomb shuts the door to keep his team in it.
Hathaway and another former Pat, Kotkaniemi get 2:00 each for some pushing and shoving after the whistle and both players go off at 11:36. The Patriots are fully in control of this period as they bombard Oxford, with only the Kevlar flak jacket of Montembomb saving them from a disaster.
Bjugstad takes another wasteful penalty for the Patriots at 15:12, but once again the Oxford PP can’t get any traction.
The teams skate off after 2 periods with the home team up 2-0, luckily for the visiting Oxford team. The Pat’s fire 7 quality shots in this period alone and only have the one goal to show for it. Que the standard Oxford goal tending clinic…..League officials REALLY have to start examining Oxford’s goal tending equipment, multiple seasons in a row of the same bull$#!& isn’t just “lucky dice”. ;-) The "Chang Shave" can't lead to this sort of collusion.
The 3rd period starts with the Pats again being sent to the PK with Crouse getting 2:00 minutes for a pretty questionable hooking call at 3:36, but again, they escape with no damage.
The ice is tilted towards the home team again in this period, but at 6:48 El’ Nino-Neidereiter finds himself alone in the Pats zone after a disastrous line change and quickly snipes a goal past a surprised Hellebuyck to bring the visitors within one.
Incensed at the missed off side call, Hathaway pummels a mistargeted Middleton, and both players get sent off for 5:00 at 7:12.
At 12:12 big United defenseman Mattias Samuelsson get’s a little too ambitious on the forecheck and takes 2:00 for roughing. The United PK holds, but gives up a quality chance just as the penalty expires and Burns makes no mistake to put the Pat’s up 3-1.
Robertson pots a gimme goal in garbage time, hoping to not be sent down to the AHL for his shit performance once again, at 15:12 to finish the score sheet off.
Patriots win 4-1 at home.
Patriots 39 Shots, 16 Quality for 4 Goals.
United 32 shots, 4 Quality for 1 Goal.
Game 2
Game 2 starts off eerily similar for the Pat’s. Connor McDavid takes the initial face off, skates in and rips a shot top shelf at :24…..except Montembomb happens to have his helmet in the way this time keep the score at 0-0. Trenin then fires a point blank shot, destined for the far corner at 1:12……but Montembomb gets the paddle down to again keep the Pats off the score sheet.
United respond when Kyle Connor “Sprongs” into action to put them ahead 1-0 at 1:24. Que the inquisition into Montembombs water bottle. The wheels fall off after that for the Pats, United coast to a beating of epic proportions, end of story…......
Ok not really, but Tkachuk takes 2:00 at 3:36, dragging Anderson with him, putting the teams at 4 v 4 where the United team clearly thrive, firing shot after R shot, after Auto shot, after hard shot….
Marino and Bergeron go off for 2:00 each at 8:48 before Hathaway again takes a completely undisciplined 2:00 at 9:12. Anderson makes him pay on the PP to stake the United fans to 2-0 lead at the half way mark.
Zibanajad, moments later, makes it 3-0 on a supreme individual effort, and the route is on. At this point I’ve gone to buy a Dragon magazine and am just reading while Steve rolls some dice and mutters under his breath. I’m done dealing with 50 R’s, all hard and a 99.5 % save Montembomb.
Oh I suppose Sanheim takes 2:00 at 17:12, but to add insult to injury, the United team play even better short handed than they do at 5V5, no surprise.
1st period ends 3-0 for the United home side. 20 United shots, 7 in range for 3 goals as opposed to 16 shots 4 in range and zero goals for the Pat’s. The fix is in !.
2nd period, former Pat’s Hayton puts home a rebound in the slot, United up 4-0…..at least I’m winning my Magic game while this pig beating goes on…..
The disappointment that is Garnet Hathaway, again goes to the box for 2:00 at 12:00 to stymie any sort of Patriots team functionality, oddly Oxford doesn’t capitalize this time.
At 17:12, again, instead of trying to…I dunno….shoot the puck, Tkachuk decides that it’d be better to sit for 5 minutes after pummeling Jordan Martinook. Great trade off there Matty, you dipshit.
At 19:36, Debrusk goads Tavares into matching 2:00 minute penalties to further demoralize the Patriot team.
Mercifully the period ends 4-0 for the United fans.
At this point, Coach O’Sheigh is already driving back to Nanton, leaving some random 5 year old to coach the team, rather than watch his dad play in the Magic games going on.
The 3rd period again sees Hathaway look for a fight at 2:48. What he finds, is a rather uncomfortable 4:00 in the box by himself and being shot in the skull by the Brooks Sniper, never to see the ice again this year. Of course Zibanajad scores at 3:36 on the PP with his 22nd R and hard shot of the game.
McDavid gets a nice SH marker to pad some stats at 5:12, nothing to add here.
Jake Debrusk makes it 6-1 at 10:48 from newly acquired Letang, who spurned an offer to join the Pats earlier that day.
At 12:12 Tkachuk…you know, takes another penalty, dragging Sanheim to the box for 2:00 each, instead of trying to help any sort of offense.
Kyle Connor makes it 7-1 with an Empty Net goal at 12:48. Ekholm and Hayton take matching roughing calls at 14:24 and Debrusk adds another EN at some point to make the final score 8-1.
Patriots 41 shots 10 quality for 1 goal
Oxford 40 shots 13 (15) quality for 8 goals (2 EN)
---
Thus ends the quest for a 3-peat, and most likely the end of the Jason Robertson experiment. He’s warm dog shit, can’t hit the broad side of a barn, a range that may as well be a 1-4 for all the times he’ll hit his actual 2-10. Last year it was all about the 33 PF2’s on the 5-7, this year is all about the 2-9 Icing and the 1-6 #7. Absolute trash. Quickly followed by the largely uninspiring return of Tkachuk who seems to only have a 4-6 and 3-8 on his card. He must have had 300 PiM’s last year. Oh wait no, those were shots…wonder where those are?
If you’re looking for upgrades, I’m only an E-mail away.
