Post by Belfast on Jan 3, 2022 17:08:49 GMT -7
ASSASSINATIONS IN BROOKS & BELFAST - SUSPECT STILL AT LARGE!!!
Brooks Bugle Obituaries:
We are saddened to hear of the recent, untimely death of Warren Foegle. On his way back to the bench with a hot dog in hand, Foegle appears to have intercepted a bullet meant for Igor Shesterkin of the Brooks Solar Bears. The Brooks Sniper is still at large. More details to follow.
Belfast @ Brooks:
In an ugly game, turned to gruesome execution, the Solar Bears host the visiting Belfast Patriots in the first of their annual home and home series.
The ice isn’t even frosted and fans aren’t even in their seats when Eriksson-Ek puts the visitors up by one, a mere 24 seconds in, off of a crisp tape to tape pass from Ristolainen. Shesterkin looks to be still strapping his mask on when the puck goes top shelf.
Mitch Marner at 1:36, watching a flasher from the stands, takes a thunderous hit from Ristolainen that sends him to the medical tent to see about those pesky twirling birdies over his head, not to be seen again in the first period.
Zach Whitecloud then takes a penalty at the 2:00 minute mark, still arguing that the officials missed an off-side call. Josh Norris tips a Jason Spezza slap pass upstairs past Shesterkin to make it a 2 goal lead at the 2:24 mark. Whitecloud takes the skate of shame back to the bench and isn’t seen for the next 5 minutes.
Alex Formenton makes it 3-0 on a back door set up from Eriksson-Ek, who doesn't like a little back door set up? It appears that the Patriots may have in fact, shown up to the wrong rink and are playing the Solar Bears minor league, minor league affiliate.
Sam Bennet takes 2:00 minutes at 17:36 of the period, for delay of game, whilst applying product to his hair. While blow drying it in the penalty box, Jakub Vrana pots a PP goal on a cross seam pass from Ristolainen, that puts the Patriots up by 4.
The first period comes to a close as the adult Solar Bear players finally arrive at the arena, thinking the game start was 30 minutes later than actuality. The Patriots mauled the Bears in the first, firing 17 shots and 7 quality chances with 2 PP markers while the Bears can only muster 7 shots with one that Goalie Ned actually had to move for.
The second period starts marginally better for the Bears as they actually muster 2 good chances, but Goalie Ned turns them aside and off the last opportunity, he launches a two line pass to a changing Niko Sturm, who catches the Bears napping and puts a shot 5-hole on Shesterkin to make it a 5-0 game at 11:36 of the 2nd period.
The power system “fails” in the Brooks arena, and as the emergency lights come on, a shot is heard from the rafters, sending people to the exits and Warren Foegle to the emergency ward where he is pronounced dead and somehow torn into 24 small bite size pieces.
League personnel determine that enough game had been played to let the score stand as a 5-0 win for the Patriots while local enforcement officials close the arena down for investigation.
1st Star: Joel Eriksson-Ek. 1 Goal, 1 Assist, 5 shots, 4 quality.
2nd Star: Rasmus Ristolainen. 2 Assists, 2 shots, 1 Crushing hit on Marner
3rd Star: Goalie Ned. 1 Assist, 0 Goals against vs 3 quality chances.
After a period and a half, the game is called. Patriots were 5 goals on 29 shots, 11 quality chances with 2 PP goals. Solar Bears were 0 goals on 13 shots 3 quality.
GAME TWO:
Brooks Bugle Obituaries:
We are saddened to hear of the recent, untimely death of Sam Reinhart. In an uncharacteristic display of cruelty, Brooks coach Al Leung makes Mitch Marner write a list of the most under performing players of the game. Mitch identifies Reinhart who is last seen falling backwards on the Bears bench as the lights go out. The Brooks Sniper is still at large. More details to follow.
The ice isn’t even frosted and fans aren’t even in their seats when Burakovsky puts the visitors up by one, a mere 24 seconds in, off of a crisp tape to tape pass from Kaprisov. Helleybuck looks to be still strapping his mask on when the puck goes top shelf……wait what? Is this for real?.......DeJaVu much? Queue the black cat....
Indeed, the Bears are up by one until Joel “Bear-Slayer” Eriksson-Ek ties the game up at 8:48 of the first period, on a brilliant set up from Ristolainen.
Josh Norris rips a puck off a sweet sauce pass from Artem Zub, and the Patriots are back in the lead by the 11:36 mark.
Burakovsky continues his impassioned play, getting into a scrum with Ristolainen at 13:12, sending both players to the box to cool off.
Bobrovsky is a one man saviour for the Bears in this period as he turns aside another 5 sure-fire goals after allowing those first 2.
Whatever Burakovsky said to Ristolainen in that first period seemed to really rile up the big man, as shortly after the puck drop he absolutely demolishes Danton Heinen skating across center ice, sending him to the dressing room for stitches and time to put his jock strap back on.
Sam Bennet is the next unfortunate recipient at 6:00 in, as Ristolainen hammers him into the boards. Bennet comes up holding his arm awkwardly, but manages to stay in the game.
At 8:00, Burakovsky, again punching waaay outside his weight class, decides to get into it with Jamie Oleksiak. Wisely, neither party drops the gloves, but both go for 2 minutes again.
Nic Hague takes a diving penalty at 8:48 sending the Patriots to another PP opportunity. Niko Sturm makes him pay at 9:12 on an unassisted effort to put the Patriots up 3-1.
Artem Zub denies Mitch Marner on a sliding block at 14:00 to keep the score 3-1
Ristolainen is apparently still not done enforcing his dominance, as he steam rolls Bobrovsky at 14:36 while Goalie Bob is trying to play the puck out of the crease. Shesterkin comes on in emergency relief, and immediately get’s lit up for 2 goals at 16:00 by Eriksson-Ek and 16:24 by Dylan Strome. Patriots up 5-1, as the SWAT Team is called into the Arena. Some report of a masked man scaling the building and entering a ventilation duct…….
Eriksson-Ek takes a 2 minute penalty at 18:24, setting up a PP opportunity for the Bears to quiet the brewing turmoil. No luck on the first couple minutes and the period ends with Niko Mikkola and Brendan Smith throwing haymakers at one another and each takes 5 minutes to start the 3rd period.
The third period starts on a good effort by the Bears, but they can’t solve Hellebuyck on the PP.
2:00 minutes in and Nichushkin takes a feed from Zub, cuts in front and put’s the puck upstairs on Shesterkin. Power goes out in the arena….again……Reinhart is found in about 48, non-bite sized pieces after the lights come back on.
League personnel determine that enough game had been played to let the score stand as a 6-1 win for the Patriots while local enforcement officials close the arena down for investigation.
1st Star: Joel Eriksson-Ek. 2 Goals, 1 Assist, 6 shots, 3 quality.
2nd Star: Rasmus Ristolainen. 3 Assists, 2 shots, 3 Crushing hits, Heinen –Period, Bennet -2, Bobrovsky- Game.
3rd Star: Burakovsky. 1 Goal, 4:00 PM and a general P.I.T.A. all game long.
After 2 periods + 1 Shift, the game is called. Patriots were 6 goals on 33 shots, 12 quality chances with 1 PP goals. Solar Bears were 1 goal on 17 shots 5 quality.
Patriots now 8-2, 39 GF and 14 GA
All players requiring “rest” have rested. Full line up now to the finish line.
Brooks Bugle Obituaries:
We are saddened to hear of the recent, untimely death of Warren Foegle. On his way back to the bench with a hot dog in hand, Foegle appears to have intercepted a bullet meant for Igor Shesterkin of the Brooks Solar Bears. The Brooks Sniper is still at large. More details to follow.
Belfast @ Brooks:
In an ugly game, turned to gruesome execution, the Solar Bears host the visiting Belfast Patriots in the first of their annual home and home series.
The ice isn’t even frosted and fans aren’t even in their seats when Eriksson-Ek puts the visitors up by one, a mere 24 seconds in, off of a crisp tape to tape pass from Ristolainen. Shesterkin looks to be still strapping his mask on when the puck goes top shelf.
Mitch Marner at 1:36, watching a flasher from the stands, takes a thunderous hit from Ristolainen that sends him to the medical tent to see about those pesky twirling birdies over his head, not to be seen again in the first period.
Zach Whitecloud then takes a penalty at the 2:00 minute mark, still arguing that the officials missed an off-side call. Josh Norris tips a Jason Spezza slap pass upstairs past Shesterkin to make it a 2 goal lead at the 2:24 mark. Whitecloud takes the skate of shame back to the bench and isn’t seen for the next 5 minutes.
Alex Formenton makes it 3-0 on a back door set up from Eriksson-Ek, who doesn't like a little back door set up? It appears that the Patriots may have in fact, shown up to the wrong rink and are playing the Solar Bears minor league, minor league affiliate.
Sam Bennet takes 2:00 minutes at 17:36 of the period, for delay of game, whilst applying product to his hair. While blow drying it in the penalty box, Jakub Vrana pots a PP goal on a cross seam pass from Ristolainen, that puts the Patriots up by 4.
The first period comes to a close as the adult Solar Bear players finally arrive at the arena, thinking the game start was 30 minutes later than actuality. The Patriots mauled the Bears in the first, firing 17 shots and 7 quality chances with 2 PP markers while the Bears can only muster 7 shots with one that Goalie Ned actually had to move for.
The second period starts marginally better for the Bears as they actually muster 2 good chances, but Goalie Ned turns them aside and off the last opportunity, he launches a two line pass to a changing Niko Sturm, who catches the Bears napping and puts a shot 5-hole on Shesterkin to make it a 5-0 game at 11:36 of the 2nd period.
The power system “fails” in the Brooks arena, and as the emergency lights come on, a shot is heard from the rafters, sending people to the exits and Warren Foegle to the emergency ward where he is pronounced dead and somehow torn into 24 small bite size pieces.
League personnel determine that enough game had been played to let the score stand as a 5-0 win for the Patriots while local enforcement officials close the arena down for investigation.
1st Star: Joel Eriksson-Ek. 1 Goal, 1 Assist, 5 shots, 4 quality.
2nd Star: Rasmus Ristolainen. 2 Assists, 2 shots, 1 Crushing hit on Marner
3rd Star: Goalie Ned. 1 Assist, 0 Goals against vs 3 quality chances.
After a period and a half, the game is called. Patriots were 5 goals on 29 shots, 11 quality chances with 2 PP goals. Solar Bears were 0 goals on 13 shots 3 quality.
GAME TWO:
Brooks Bugle Obituaries:
We are saddened to hear of the recent, untimely death of Sam Reinhart. In an uncharacteristic display of cruelty, Brooks coach Al Leung makes Mitch Marner write a list of the most under performing players of the game. Mitch identifies Reinhart who is last seen falling backwards on the Bears bench as the lights go out. The Brooks Sniper is still at large. More details to follow.
The ice isn’t even frosted and fans aren’t even in their seats when Burakovsky puts the visitors up by one, a mere 24 seconds in, off of a crisp tape to tape pass from Kaprisov. Helleybuck looks to be still strapping his mask on when the puck goes top shelf……wait what? Is this for real?.......DeJaVu much? Queue the black cat....
Indeed, the Bears are up by one until Joel “Bear-Slayer” Eriksson-Ek ties the game up at 8:48 of the first period, on a brilliant set up from Ristolainen.
Josh Norris rips a puck off a sweet sauce pass from Artem Zub, and the Patriots are back in the lead by the 11:36 mark.
Burakovsky continues his impassioned play, getting into a scrum with Ristolainen at 13:12, sending both players to the box to cool off.
Bobrovsky is a one man saviour for the Bears in this period as he turns aside another 5 sure-fire goals after allowing those first 2.
Whatever Burakovsky said to Ristolainen in that first period seemed to really rile up the big man, as shortly after the puck drop he absolutely demolishes Danton Heinen skating across center ice, sending him to the dressing room for stitches and time to put his jock strap back on.
Sam Bennet is the next unfortunate recipient at 6:00 in, as Ristolainen hammers him into the boards. Bennet comes up holding his arm awkwardly, but manages to stay in the game.
At 8:00, Burakovsky, again punching waaay outside his weight class, decides to get into it with Jamie Oleksiak. Wisely, neither party drops the gloves, but both go for 2 minutes again.
Nic Hague takes a diving penalty at 8:48 sending the Patriots to another PP opportunity. Niko Sturm makes him pay at 9:12 on an unassisted effort to put the Patriots up 3-1.
Artem Zub denies Mitch Marner on a sliding block at 14:00 to keep the score 3-1
Ristolainen is apparently still not done enforcing his dominance, as he steam rolls Bobrovsky at 14:36 while Goalie Bob is trying to play the puck out of the crease. Shesterkin comes on in emergency relief, and immediately get’s lit up for 2 goals at 16:00 by Eriksson-Ek and 16:24 by Dylan Strome. Patriots up 5-1, as the SWAT Team is called into the Arena. Some report of a masked man scaling the building and entering a ventilation duct…….
Eriksson-Ek takes a 2 minute penalty at 18:24, setting up a PP opportunity for the Bears to quiet the brewing turmoil. No luck on the first couple minutes and the period ends with Niko Mikkola and Brendan Smith throwing haymakers at one another and each takes 5 minutes to start the 3rd period.
The third period starts on a good effort by the Bears, but they can’t solve Hellebuyck on the PP.
2:00 minutes in and Nichushkin takes a feed from Zub, cuts in front and put’s the puck upstairs on Shesterkin. Power goes out in the arena….again……Reinhart is found in about 48, non-bite sized pieces after the lights come back on.
League personnel determine that enough game had been played to let the score stand as a 6-1 win for the Patriots while local enforcement officials close the arena down for investigation.
1st Star: Joel Eriksson-Ek. 2 Goals, 1 Assist, 6 shots, 3 quality.
2nd Star: Rasmus Ristolainen. 3 Assists, 2 shots, 3 Crushing hits, Heinen –Period, Bennet -2, Bobrovsky- Game.
3rd Star: Burakovsky. 1 Goal, 4:00 PM and a general P.I.T.A. all game long.
After 2 periods + 1 Shift, the game is called. Patriots were 6 goals on 33 shots, 12 quality chances with 1 PP goals. Solar Bears were 1 goal on 17 shots 5 quality.
Patriots now 8-2, 39 GF and 14 GA
All players requiring “rest” have rested. Full line up now to the finish line.