Post by Oxford United on Jun 3, 2024 8:59:17 GMT -7
Cremona [5] at 1 Oxford : Series Tied 1-1
If you are a United fan then this game was a load of Quokka shit. If you are a Titan fan then what is wrong with you? No really. Were you dropped as a child? Did you bounce?
Just look at the no-name nogoodniks that scored in the first period.
Ever heard of any of them? Me neither. Utter Quokka crap. United pulled its goalie at this point, bringing in Laurent "choix de deuxième" Brossoit. It didn't help, as another no-neck swindler scored.
As soon as it was possible, United pulled its goaltender, scoring once and being scored against once. Oxford's goal differential improved with no goaltender. Owen tipped scored 6v5, and Pastrnak replied into an empty net.
Final score, 5-1 Titans. You'll see why when you peruse the stats.
STATS
CREMONA 20 + 10 + 13 = 43 Shots, 11 Hard, 5 Goals (1 en)
OXFORD 06 + 09 + 10 = 25 Shots, 1 Hard, 1 Goal
Update: Oxford United players are receiving PTSD treatment after the utter shelling they endured.
If you are a United fan then this game was a load of Quokka shit. If you are a Titan fan then what is wrong with you? No really. Were you dropped as a child? Did you bounce?
Just look at the no-name nogoodniks that scored in the first period.
- Matthews from Pastrnak and Sergachev
- Svechnikov from J. Hughes
- Ovechkin from Pastrnak and Fox
Ever heard of any of them? Me neither. Utter Quokka crap. United pulled its goalie at this point, bringing in Laurent "choix de deuxième" Brossoit. It didn't help, as another no-neck swindler scored.
- Pastrnak from Matthews and Dahlin
As soon as it was possible, United pulled its goaltender, scoring once and being scored against once. Oxford's goal differential improved with no goaltender. Owen tipped scored 6v5, and Pastrnak replied into an empty net.
Final score, 5-1 Titans. You'll see why when you peruse the stats.
STATS
CREMONA 20 + 10 + 13 = 43 Shots, 11 Hard, 5 Goals (1 en)
OXFORD 06 + 09 + 10 = 25 Shots, 1 Hard, 1 Goal
- Samsonov allowed goals on 100% of hard shots against.
- Ovechkin defied the statisticians and touched the puck 6 time instead of 5. No penalty was called.
- "The Apex Ass and Donkey Top Performer of the Game": David Pastrnak (2g 2a). Apex A&D will honor Mr Pastrnak at the next United home game where his ass will be handed to him.
Update: Oxford United players are receiving PTSD treatment after the utter shelling they endured.
